they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
