Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
