Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
