i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am midnight drunk by noon
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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