He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
sex in a hospital.. check
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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