??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize