I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
