It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
