i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You pole danced in your parka.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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