Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
