small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
