I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
