Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
