Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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