I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
