Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
and you fell through a lawn chair
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
