it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
