He told me they were just razor bumps!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
