Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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