just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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