He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My life is pants optional.
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