Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
