I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
