Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
