Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize