I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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