3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
