Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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