Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
