I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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