Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
