I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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