Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
