Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
