Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
