I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
