hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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