I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think a kid would responsible me up
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
