My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
