You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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