I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
