This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize