What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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