U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize