I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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