What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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