Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize