i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
