uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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