I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize