We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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