But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
