do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
