so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
