I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
