i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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