It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
