sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
