i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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