So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
