You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
