Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
