the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
