The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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